Day 4: October Goes to the Movies

 My residents are the best. Some would expect people in a nursing home to watch Andy Griffith, the Golden Girls, Gunsmoke or Lawrence Welk, and they do, but mine also like horror films. Before Covid restrictions came into play, every Tuesday night was horror night. Anything was fair game. We watched the downright gory and horror that made us laugh. We rooted for the bad guys, shouted at the “heroes” stupidity and hoped they really did get eaten by the freakishly large crocodile. Sometimes I was a little scared walking to my car in the dark because I just KNEW that something was waiting.

I love watching scary movies. Well, some scary movies. I don’t really like the slashy nasty kind. I don’t like stuff about possession and I refuse to watch Saw. Other than that, if you have a clever premise or a mildly clever premise I am game. Horror films can really be quite intellectual. Truly. I mean some are really pointless drivel, but some, wome scare you for a totally different reason. Think Invasion of the Body Snatchers. The fear of the “other” when your body isn’t your own. How about Stepford Wives or the Day the Earth Stood Still.

Why do we fear these things? Seriously, look into the reason those films were made. Horror is horror because something is scaring us and we might not be able to put our finger on why. Vampires, werewolves and zombies are there because we fear losing control of ourselves. Or if you want to get all eco about it, zombies are a fear of over consumption. Why is Steven King so successful or why did Orson Welles radio broadcast of War of the Worlds cause such a panic? Deep in our lizard brains we have things we fear and if we open up to that we can scare ourselves silly.

My favorite story, Frankenstein is about the cost of man trying to be like God. What will we unleash if we start playing with the very building blocks of life? And you know what; it’s still a scary topic even today.

Scary movies are a way to combat our fears in a safe environment. We KNOW that the monster won’t/can’t reach out and get us. At the end of an hour and a half we will be the final girl, the victor left standing and the mighty monster will be vanquished. I HATE snakes, and yet,  that did not stop me from watching Anaconda or Snakes on a Plane. Sometimes I covered my eyes and swiftly moved my feet up under me, but I laughed and screamed and enjoyed myself.

There is nothing better than watching a horror film with an engaged audience be it in a theater or with another person. The squeals of fright, the nervous laughter, the indrawn breath help draw you in even more. Because of It I won’t go near storm drains. Because of the movie Silver Bullet I have an unreasonable fear of werewolves. Thanks to too many movies to count I have a fear of bathtubs and sink drains along with locker room showers. Due to horror films I know not to say Candyman or Bloody Mary 3 times, though I will say Beetlejuice. Because of Urban Legend I won’t flash my lights at people who don’t have theirs on and I am still morbidly curious to see if my head will explode if I eat pop rocks and drink cola. Because of Psycho I will always check my hotel rooms for peepholes in the wall and I always check behind the shower curtain. Thanks to the Twilight Zone I always check the wings of an airplane for beasties and thanks to Bram Stoker and Ann Rice I have an unreasonable love of vampires.

Horror is such a broad category. Before October my friend messaged me asking “I need your short list of Halloween and Fall movies.” Boy howdy did I jump on that. I had to have some clarification though. What kind of movies are you looking for, that covers a lot of ground. They said, “horror, scary, psychological, thriller, and family.” I did not keep the list short, and I keep adding to it as the days went by. There are so many good options. My To Watch list gets bigger every year. But like Christmas I have certain October films I have to watch. The season isn’t complete without them. I HAVE to see Hocus Pocus, Beetlejuice, the Frighteners, the Addams Family, It’s the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown, Buffy the Vampire Slayer (the movie), and the cartoon version of the Legend of Sleepy Hollow before the month is out. Sometimes Ghostbusters, Scream (and sometimes it’s spawn) Brotherhood of the Wolf and Wrong Turn make it on there too.  Everything else is fair game and I watch as the mood strikes me. This year I will finally watch the Halloween series. I can’t believe that I have gone all this time without seeing it. No time like the present. After all, Jamie Lee is the original scream queen.

What are your October viewing favorites?

Day 19: Welcome to my House

If there were some sort of magical place where everyone got to pick exactly the kind of house they wanted to live in, I would go nuts. Just thinking about it makes me squeal with joy. I would be over the moon happy. That’s not to say that I don’t love where I live right now, but just imagine, money, the laws of physics, reality, none of it would come into play. You could design whatever you wanted.

First of all my house would be an ever changing house. It would ripple and redesign as I saw fit, no need for pesky contractors. Dare I say it; I would live in a magic house. Some days it would look like a nice mountain cabin or an ivy covered cottage from the Cotswold’s, others it would more closely resemble a normal craftsman type home with a wide front porch. But in October, oh man, in October it would really be something. I’m thinking a LARGE Gothic Victorian mansion bordering on decrepitude. It would of course have an overgrown vast front lawn for the wolf man to play on and a long front drive that was guarded by a rusted out and yet still ornate wrought iron gate. Don’t forget all the broken down fountains and water features. The frogs and toads have to frolic somewhere.

It would have several gables teetering dangerously past vertical, hanging shutters, peeling paint and of course a belfry for the bats. But the inside, the inside would be immaculate, a reminder to look past first appearances. Of course there would be a wide grand staircase and suits of armor that talked. There would be many drafty fireplaces and many, many secret passageways and of course some of the paintings would have removable eye slots so that you could peek out from inside the passageways.

Shamelessly stealing from other authors, there would be an underground lair like in Batman. The dining room would have floating candles above it and a scene of the night sky overhead like in Harry Potter. Also like Harry Potter the meals would magically appear at the table which would be set in a Downton Abbey type style. There would be a secret entrance through a bookcase like in the Addams Family and all the books would open so that you actually immersed yourself in them. Want to go to Narnia, no problem. Feel like a trip to Middle Earth, pack your bags. Like in Dangerous Creatures the house interior would change with my mood and I would be able to write on the walls with my mind. There would be four poster beds you could bounce on, many bannisters to slide down and a spiral staircase that turns into a slide like in Casper. There would be a big front door which would have talking knockers like in Labyrinth, though they wouldn’t be nearly as irritating.

But my favorite idea comes from the movie the Haunting. There is a hallway in it that looks like it has been flooded and there are stepping stones that are made to look like submerged books. I would have three of those just cuz I could. Plus there would be a solarium that looked like the inside of Willy Wonka’s factory, you know, the one with the chocolate pool, edible grass and flowers. I’d poach Beauty and the Beast’s library, oh oh, and all the talking furniture as well. I’d have a pool like the one at Hearst Castle and a grand ballroom of some sort. Let’s just say it would change with my imagination and have floating tables like in Hotel Transylvania.

In this monster house I’d also have a ginormous aquarium that made up the floor like in Despicable Me. Plus a room that was nothing but a ball pit and a room that you could change the type of room it was by spinning a nob just like in Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium. Which leads me to my in home movie theater. It would be set up like the grand theaters of the 1920’s. Movie monsters would be the attendants and there would be a concession area with every goodie imaginable. Plus they would serve theme food to go with the film. The inside of the theater would have red curtains with gold ties over the screen and balconies and couches instead of seats. A zombie would run the projector because I’d want to watch movies 24/7 that time of year and a zombie’s the only one who wouldn’t fall asleep on the job.

Yup, it’d be pretty amazing. Don’t worry; I’d totally invite you over for a visit. I’d send my driver Lurch to pick you up in the hearse.

Day 16: An Ode to the Scary Movie

Sometimes when I need to clear my mind of all relevant thought I jump on Pinterest and see what goodies the internet has to offer. I was browsing the Halloween section and came upon a pair of quotes which read, “Dear paranoid people who check behind the shower curtain for murderers, if you do find one, what's your plan?” The other was, “I love how in scary movies the person yells out hello. As if the bad guy is gonna be like yeah, I’m in the kitchen. Wanna sandwich?” After I stopped laughing I thought about it, because both of these things are relevant in my family.

Since I watch an absurdly large amount of film and TV I also pick up weird ticks from said films and TV shows. Things like, whenever I get in an elevator I immediately check the ceiling to see how I can best escape from it if the power goes out because international terrorists have seized the Nakatomi building. I won’t go more than 10 feet out into the ocean because that’s where Jaws lives. I absolutely refused to go to summer camp. I listen for banjos if I’m trekking in the woods, when I fly I look for things on the wings of the plane, I’m pretty sure that some sort of monster will come out of the bathtub drain while I’m in it, the answer to who ya gonna call is always Ghostbusters, and if the picture on my TV screen ever turns to snow I will push you out of the way in my haste to run very far, very fast.

I am also prone to checking behind the shower curtain, under the bed and in closets for intruders, and now that you mention it, I don’t really have a plan for any of these scenarios. I think the sum total of my thought process is as follows. 1) I think there is something behind the shower curtain. Why? Because TV and movies have told me that there might be. Has there ever been someone lurking behind the shower curtain? No. So why do I check? 2) To make sure that I really am right and that there is in fact, no one behind the shower curtain. 3) Hold breath and check. The holding of the breath part is really important for obvious sneaky reasons, because said beastie or evil doer totally didn’t see me turn on the light or hear me stomping into the bathroom, or brushing my teeth. So the holding of the breath ensures stealth activity. 4) See that no one or thing is there and feel smug that I once again evaded certain doom and go off to watch another scary movie.

If ever there was to be someone or something lurking behind the shower curtain it would probably follow thusly. 1) Check behind shower curtain (remember to hold breath). 2) Find someone or something behind shower curtain. 3) Keep holding breath, and pull shower curtain slowly back into original position. 4) Know that that the flimsy piece of plastic with ducks on it will act as an impenetrable barrier that the someone or something will never be able to breach. 5) Let breath out, scream and run away very fast, move to another city in another country and never take a shower ever again. Either that or I would stand there dumbstruck that there actually was someone in my shower. Then I would try to poke them to see if they were real. Or I would just flee in abject terror. Yeah, probably the last bit.

Then there is the second quote. My mother fell prey to this all the time. I would walk into the house at any time of the night or day and she would say “Rebecca is that you?” and I would inform her no, I’m an alien from the planet Zorg come to steal her Skittles. She would say ok and go back to watching TV. My answer always changed but hers didn’t. One time I asked her, ma, what would you do if I wasn’t the one that answered? She didn’t have a response. It’s funny how we go through life with all these little ingrained ticks and behaviors but we don’t stop to think why we do them. Sure, when she asks if it is me, she is just checking. But really, what’s the follow through on that scenario? Unless you are trained for those specific action plans, what really are you going to do? Most likely we stand and stare and look dumb. Which leads me to my next topic, being an A1, grade A, veteran armchair scary movie quarterback.

The reason that I like scary movies is that I can mock the people in them for their poor choices all the while safely ensconced in my chair with a fuzzy blanket where no monsters are going to get me. I can berate the heroes and the cannon fodder for asking stupid questions like “Ralph, is that you?” or Hey, we’re home alone and heard an odd sound from the dark basement, who wants to go down and look. Watching a scary movie can make us look brave in comparison. We can be scared on our own terms and live to tell the tale. Sharknado, yeah I survived that. Invasion of the Body Snatchers, please, I see right through them. And Predator, those alien hunters don’t stand a chance against me.

But that’s what so good about the best scary/horror/monster movies, they make us think. They show us what the “monster” is and we get to conquer a fear. We get to live to tell the tale. We see the thing we are afraid of and we come out the other side. You can’t tell me that the Stepford Wives isn’t a horror film, I mean the clothes alone are frightening not to mention the social commentary. But why are we afraid of zombies and werewolves? There are actually whole studies devoted to such things and they aren’t as hokey as you think. I once took a class on the Dracula myth and it was fascinating. And did you know that the Frankenstein monster was born out of the fear that science was starting to take the place of God. How does one confront that fear, you tell a story about it. Now-a-days all we see is some big green monster with bolts who tap dances or sells us candy, but at the time it gave voice to a legitimate concern. As a society we conquered the monster and moved on. Or did we?

So what do we fear now? What does that fear say about us or the current situation? Zombies seem to be the hot monster of the month, brainless automatons that consume and consume and consume without satiation or regard. Hmmm, sound familiar? When they first came out, zombies were slow plodding things that could easily be outrun. I like those zombies. They make me feel safe and superior. Granted, they don’t have to sleep and are a bit single minded, but still. Now the zombies are fast. Like Usain Bolt fast. That freaks me out. I like my slow zombies. Slow zombies give me a false sense of comfort that I can reasonably outrun them. But fast zombies mirror the culture. We zoom and flit. We want more, more, more and we are never full. Hmmm.

So, the next time you shrug off a monster film as being dumb, stop and think about it. I’m not saying all of them are high art, but they are scary for a reason. And for the love of Mike, if you hear an odd noise in the middle of the night, whatever you do, don’t ask “who’s there? ;)

Day 28: Going to the Movies

Today is blustery, dark, cold and wet. I love it. It is the perfect weather to light a fire, snuggle up on the couch with some cocoa, and watch scary movies. I love, love, love my October films. I love the classics, cartoons, off kilter and modern. I can appreciate the B movies just as much as the foreign or mainstream. Every year I pull out my October viewing list and see which will make the cut. I have a few that I must watch before the year is out (Beetlejuice, The Addams Family, Hocus Pocus, the Fog, It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown and the Frighteners) and then I have a much, much longer list of shows that just work well with October. There are the whimsical, the magical, the romantical (but set against an autumn backdrop) and the comical.

For the most part I am not a horror movie fan. I just find them horrible. What I like is something suspenseful. Something that makes me catch my breath. Something that sends my imagination into overdrive and I have to sleep with the lights on for the rest of the night. My best example is Psycho. Mr. Hitchcock knows how to frighten a gal. It is such a simple concept. A girl goes to a motel and never leaves. There are not big special effects. There is no costumed monster lurking. But it scares the pants off of me. I can't go to motels, hotels or any kind of overnight establishment without thinking about that movie.

Because of scary October movies I can no longer be in a darkened stairwell by myself. I can't leave a foot poking out from under the covers. I won't eat apples from strangers, or swim in water that I can't see the bottom of. I'm scared to take baths (though oddly enough not showers) and I will never ever move to the town of Stepford. Yup, my imagination ruins all sorts of mundane things for me. And that is ok, because it is all in the name of October fun.

Though they tend to scare me and bring on ridiculous phobias, October movies also have done some positive things for me. They have introduced me to Frankenstein and the Wolfman. I know many, many ways to dispatch a vampire if it ever comes to that. I also know not to lurk in darkened stairwells and to run out the front door and not the back if someone is trying to pursue me in my home. Ok, so not particularly useful things, but fun nonetheless.

October has a smorgasbord of films and theme TV shows for the savvy viewer to watch. If you are at a loss for a new favorite October film, drop me a line and I will be happy to suggest one. As it stands I am always looking for a new favorite, what's yours?

October Goes to the Moives: OT Day 20

I was going to be a good little girl this year and not mention movies. I tried so very hard. I got halfway through a thought tonight and then just had to give in. Blame it on the internet movie data base. Their poll question today was "What's cooler, a fast zombie, or a slow zombie?" I say slow, but only out of a sense of self preservation. I can outrun a slow one I'm reasonably certain. ;-) Now I know that I have mentioned movies here and there already, but I just can't contain myself any longer. Be proud of me for being able to wait this long.
There is nothing quite like a good October movie be it in the theater, at a friends house, or alone in your room. Back home we have the most wonderful theater. It is the Mt. Hood Theater and it is a mom and pop joint that plays second runs. For $3 you can see 2 films and the food isn't half bad either. The Mt. Hood Theater is where I first learned to play Pac man and developed my love for Red Vines. It is also where I got to hone my between movie bathroom sneaking skills. See, the Hood only has 2 women's stalls way down in the depths of the theater, so you had to time things juuuuuust right to beat the rush. Otherwise you were stuck in the line that never ended and ran the risk of missing the previews before the new movie.

Back in the good old days the movie didn't start until the projectionist decided that it should. The seven pm start time was more of a suggestion than an actuality. There was no fancy timing switch like there are now a days. The projectionist simply waited until the last person had bought their snack at the concession stand then walked up the ramp to the main floor. From there he would slowly ascend the stairs to the balcony and open up the projector room door. It would take him a few minutes, but then.......out would come that white beam of light and the movie would begin. The Hood didn't always run ads before the show, and sometimes there were not many previews. Most times the big red curtain was down over the screen before the movie and the red sconces on the sides were set to white. When the movie began the white faded away leaving big red triangles in their place.

The balcony was by far the best place to sit. It was like being in another world. But boy were those step tricksy. I don't know how many times I tripped going up them and caused a popcorn explosion. I only fell down them once.....ok twice, but the only thing I bruised was my pride. If you sat at the very top of the balcony there was a couch, then it got too old so they replaced it with a really big roll of carpet. Once that got too ratty, there was just a really long black bench and to my knowledge it's still there.

The only bad thing about the balcony, other than the devious stairs, was the fact that teenagers and sometimes adults went up there to snog more than watch movies. I had ample opportunity to perfect my withering stare and quiet but still menacing shushing noise.

Some of my very favorite memories happened in that theater. The first time I saw Die Hard, the time I saw Scrooged and the audience sang with the film. The time I had my tooth pulled after Thanksgiving and my parents took me to a movie to cheer me up. The first time I got to go to a movie by myself. The 1st, 4th and 5th times that I saw Jurassic Park. The best thing about the theater was that it was literally right down the hill from my house. I could get the binoculars, stand in my front room window and look at the marquee while they were changing it. I could see my mom leave the house to come pick me up after the last film had played, and I could see if my dad had beat us to the theater while mom was still trying to find her keys.

Whenever we go back to Portland I try to fit in a Hood Theater showing. It is the only theater left from my childhood. Sure, the Hollywood is still there, and so are both the Lloyd Center cinemas, but these were the ones close to home. The Rose Moyer was torn down for the vastly superior Division Street Theater. The old Gresham theater is now a La-Z-Boy store, and Eastgate is simply gone. I know that one day the Hood will go too, but for now, I will take what I can get. Did I mention that when I was little I wanted to get married there. I still kinda do.....tee hee. ;-)

So without further delay or ramblings down memory lane, I present some of the movies of October. We would be here all day if I listed all my favs. Give them a look.................if you dare. But I should say, I don't do horror. Well..........I do, but horror for me is Psycho NOT Saw. Horror plays with your mind not dismembers people. True, I have a few bloody picks, but not many.

-The Addams Family - (Wednesday, Gomez, headless roses, the front gate............what's not to love, oh, and I can do a wicked impression of cousin It)-The Adventures of Baron Munchausen- (I know you have never heard of it, but no one does make believe like the Python boys)-Batman and Batman Returns -(Tim Burton is Halloween)-Big - (because who among us has not wished for something and had it come true, oh, and the dancing on the keyboard thing)-The Black Cauldron - (I saw that movie in a drive in theater when I was small and it gave me the heebie jeebies for years)-The Brotherhood of the Wolf - ( a spooky French horrorish film that makes you think, and the cinematography is stunning)-The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari - (this is an OLD fashioned horror film. It isn't scary but it is really good)- Count Duckula (a British TV cartoon just the opening titles were enough to scare me silly and I was in Jr High)-The Dark Crystal -(another movie that scared the pants off me when I was little, but for some reason I rented it EVERY time I went to the video store. I did that for 12 years)-Edward Scissorhands -(like I said, no one does Halloween like Tim Burton, this is an October classic)-The Frighteners- (another of my can't do without Halloween movies!!!!)-Ghostbusters 1 &2 (both good in their own right and heck, there is even a little romance)-Gremlins - (just don't feed them after dark...................I can also do a wicked impression of the head gremlin)-The Goonies -( cuz I really wanted to be one of them, and it was filmed in Astoria after all) -Invasion of the Body Snatchers and now Invasion (I think I know some pod people)-Jumanji (seriously, an interactive board game.....hook me up)-Labyrinth (David Bowie, mall hair, and spandex.....)-The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (a whole bunch of my favorite literary characters in one place, what bliss)-Lemony Snicket's: A Series of Unfortunate Events (-The Mask ("I was just killing time.")-Men in Black (cuz really, wasn't everyone's first grade teacher an alien)-Monsters Inc. ("Kitty!")-The Mummy (the new and the old)-Night of the Living Dead- (saw it when I was a tot and it was just love at first sight, the way horror should be done)-Plan 9 From Outer Space- (so hideously bad it is good, me and Mulder have seen it many times)-The Phantom (a good old fashioned comic book hero who has his own island and some pretty tough dames)-the Prestige (Halloween is all about smoke and mirrors, and this film is VERY well done, it's all about the masks we wear)-Psycho ("mother just isn't feeling like herself today.")-the Scream Trilogy (my other favorite)-Secret Window - (another Stephen King classic)-The Shadow (how can you hate a superhero named Lamont Cranston)-The Silence of the Lambs (2 scariest words ever......"Hello Clarice.")-The Sixth Sense (Christmas is Die Hard, October is Sixth Sense, it's a Bruce Willis world and we are just living in it)-Sleepy Hollow (the very short Disney version) The Stepford Wives -(only cuz that ending scares the stuffing out of me, horror indeed!)-The Tenth Kingdom -(how would you like to walk into a story book, oh and while I'm at it, Alice in Wonderland)-Tremors -(and you thought that living in a small town was peaceful)-The Vanishing -(it was filmed in Oregon, well bits of it, and it really makes you think twice about gas stations)-Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory -(the classic. Nothing is scarier to me. Gene Wilder is just creepy) -Wrong Turn (inbred cannibal mountain men pretty much sums up the film) -Young Frankenstein (cuz who doesn't want to see Franky do a soft shoe)-Young Sherlock Holmes (a teenage Holmes, talking pastries, and Dr. Moriarty!!!)-and I am going to add EUReKA on SyFy to the list. But my top 5 are Disney's Legend of Sleepy Hollow, Addams Family, the Frighteners, Beetlejuice and Hocus Pocus ("amok, amok, amok, amok") It just isn't October for me without them.

What are some of your favorite October flicks?