I have had haunted houses on the brain lately. Ok, haunted houses and zombies. I just found out today that there is something called a Zombie Hunt in my area. And I quote "Players armed with paintball markers will navigate the fields in order to escape the zombie horde! Your team will be asked to wipe out the zombies and make it to the decontamination zone to retrieve the antidote and save humanity." I mean HOW COOL IS THAT! I want to go save humanity from the zombie hoard. Granted, I already did it once this month, but I feel it is my duty to go where I am needed and after all, humanity needs me.
I also was rereminded that there is such a thing as Escape Rooms. There are a few in my hometown and this is the descriptor for one of them, "Prepare to be locked in a room with up to 11 other people and a Zombie that is chained to the wall! Hidden in the room is a key that will unlock the door to your freedom. To find the key you must locate numerous clues and solve riddles. Every five minutes the hungry Zombie’s chain will be released another foot. Within an hour, the Zombie will be able to reach you. You have 60 minutes to the find clues, solve the puzzles, unlock the door and escape the room without getting infected! Are you smarter than a Zombie? Find out!"
I want to find out. I want to find out. Pick me. Pick me. (jumps up and down over in the corner frantically waving both hands). I mean, are they purposely gearing these things to me? I think so and I appreciate it. Not all the escape rooms are scary though. There is one that has to do with the American Revolution for us nerdy history buffs, and one is in an arcade. I want to go so bad or haven't I mentioned that?
Then there is the Haunted World. I usually don't go for scary stuff like that. My motto is, there are already too many actual freaks and weirdo's out in the world, I don't need to seek them out. But this actually sounds kinda fun. "The Haunted World is a 30 acre outdoor haunt. You will wind your way through Gristle's cornfield and then make your way underground and into his 700 ft. dungeon of torture. If you can handle it, you will then pass through his barnyard, and visit his ravenous animals. You will also visit Hacksaw Jim's Stanky Cellar, Voorhee's Dilapidated Shack, Vertigo's Tunnel, and Cannibal Lecter's Carnival of Pigs." And if that isn't enough fun, they have something called Skullvania "which is is a hostel asylum gone wrong. Disturbed patrons have checked in, never to check out! You will make your way through each one of their rooms and experience firsthand what they experience daily. May their souls rest in peace." I just got goose bumps and they are the good kind.
I think all this mania started when I began binge watching The Walking Dead and then it kind of took off when I was in the car and heard the radio announcers mention a haunted house attraction that was so scary over half the participants can't finish it. The haunted house is called the 17th Door and it is scaring the pants off people. They are actually selling out of tickets and then about 60% of the participants can't even finish the course. I don't know whether to be impressed or really freaked out? You have to go room by room and supposedly things escalate as you go. You have to sign a waiver at the start and you are given a safe word if you can't go on. If you use the safe word you are immediately taken out of the...event....attraction.....room? That does not sound fun to me. I like to be scared every now and again, but on my own terms. It says for this haunted house the actors get up into your personal space. NO THANKS. If I wanted that I'd go stand in line at the DMV.
Ahhh haunted houses. I do have a soft spot in my October heart for you. But mostly I am thinking of the one back home with velvet glow in the dark paintings where the eyes follow you and they pipe in scary sounds through the PA.
Oh October, you do have something for everyone.
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