I have had a fascination with corn fields since I was little. I grew up in a city but lived out in the suburbs, kinda. Well, I lived in the suburbs but really it was more like the forest. It is hard to explain. Anyway, I think that the idea of wide open pastoral settings or farmland appealed to me in a quaint Norman Rockwell type fashion. I didn't want the reality of farmland per say, the smell of pigs, early morning chores or cow pies, but I did want to live near a barnyard like the one in Charlotte's Web and have animals talk to me. If you haven't caught on by now, I tend to take ordinary life and add a dash of Rebecca to it. So in my mind of course corn fields possess magical properties. This notion was later proven correct by the movie Field of Dreams. I mean come on. You build a baseball diamond in the middle of a corn field and ex living baseball greats come to play in it. See, corn is magical. And if that doesn't convince you, corn fields also provide people with the very best of foods, corn on the cob. I mean, what isn't to love. You have fields that you can play in that produce ears of corn that you can eat. Perfection if you ask me. Not to mention the fact that anything could be in a corn field. There could be a passage to another world, a dragon, a maze with an incredible treasure, a new friend, a mythical creature, really the possibilities are endless.
Being from the city and not actually
seeing corn fields as I grew up, Hollywood kind of ruined my first experience
with them. In movies or on TV (yes, I know they aren't real) corn fields are
excellent places to escape from all manner of things that are pursuing one.
They are also very neatly spaced and uniform. Fast forward to me moving to farm
country. My first glimpse of a corn field taught me that there is no such thing
as a uniform corn field. Sure, they are all planted in orderly rows and the
deeper you go the more uniform they are, but the stalks on the ends tend to be
runty and a bit mangy. So either the Hollywood corn is fake (possible), they
pick out the runty bits and cover them up (probable) or they digitally enhance
the corn (likely). It burst my bubble a bit, but I recovered quickly. Second,
there is no possible way one can run in a corn field. Ok, you can run, but you
are more likely to trip and break an ankle, rather than evade a pursuer. Corn
is planted very close together. Even if you stay in a row and run, it is narrow
and deep and you get smacked in the face by very solid corn stalks quite a lot.
Or so I've heard (cough cough) So again, Hollywood corn must be planted wider
or paved over or something. If those actors really are running through actual
corn fields, I feel so sorry for them. But this new knowledge does sort of up
the emotional ante when I watch shows now. If a character is being chased by a
horrible beastie, law enforcement officer or creepy children and decides to run
through a corn field, they must really be desperate indeed.
Now that I have moved to the country, I
am blessed to have the opportunity to drive by corn fields all the time. In
order to get to work I have to drive by 7 corn fields in one direction and 6 in
the other. Poor me. It is the best part of the day. The corn waves at me as I
drive by wishing me a good journey. And on the way home, it waves at me again
welcoming me back. I know the corn recognizes me. I just know it does. It bends
and ripples, beckoning me to pull over and come play inside. And man, the
temptation is strong. Basically the only reason that I don't do it is that I
don't want to have to explain to a gun totting farmer why exactly I am grinning
like an idiot in the middle of his corn field because I think it is magical and
there might be a dragon in it or a passage to Narnia. Try explaining that one
to the cops and not sounding nuts or drunk or both. Sadly then, I keep my corn
field adventures strictly observational (unless I am in a corn maze, but that’s
a story for another day). I can literally sit and stare at a corn field for
hours. I have done it. It is quite relaxing, at least to me. They can be golden
or green fields, it makes not a whit of difference. As long as they are vast
and occasionally wave in the breeze. I just sit and stare and day dream. Corn
field gazing is right up there with cloud watching in my book. It is quite
addictive.
There is this one field, right off of
the highway that really has my creative juices flowing. I have decided that I
want to build a glass bottomed house right over a corn field. The tops of the
stalks could be my carpet. Lower levels of the residence could be sunken down
so that the corn itself acted as a wall. What a wonderful idea, sleeping in a
corn field. But it might be a bit noisy. All manner of things live in corn
fields and move around. Then there is the rustling of the corn itself. It is
like butcher paper being rubbed together. But it really is the most delightful
sound. I would probably give myself the creeps though with my over active
imagination. I would think every crunch and rustle was some sort of hockey mask
wearing weirdo coming to get me. But who cares, I would be living in a corn
field. It sure beats being the crazy cat lady who sits on her porch with a
shotgun. Instead I would be the crazy lady who lives in a corn field. Hey, I am
ok with that.
And now I am imagining ordering pizza
from my corn field house. "Is this a residence or business?" Well, it
is a residence, but I kinda live in a corn field. "Excuse me? Is this some
sort of prank call?" No, no. I live in a house in the middle of a corn
field. You can't miss it. Well, you might if you get lost in the maze.
"Excuse me, did you say maze? I thought you lived in a corn field."
Well, I do, but you see, you have to go through the corn maze to get to my
front door. It shouldn't be a problem; I will give you directions to the maze.
It's really quite simple. At which point they would have hung up on me and I
would have to go and get the pizza myself. But how cool would that be? Ok,
that's it. I have decided to grow up and become an eccentric millionaire just
so I can build a glass house in the middle of a corn field. Not a bad thing for
a life ambition. I just won't tell the pizza guy where I live exactly until he
or she shows up. ;)
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