It was the longest night of the year and once again time for the annual
meeting of the months. Everyone was there. The triplets April, May and June
were giggling over a fashion magazine on the over-sized couch. July was off in
the corner causing trouble and slipping firecrackers under the butler’s shoes.
March was drinking with January out on the patio while September scolded them
and tried to keep things in order. November was hungrily eyeing the goodies on
the sideboard while February was stuffing sweets into her purse when she
thought no one was looking. August was lazing near the fire listening to a
boisterous December recount holidays past and October was in his easy chair
watching it all through his mask.
The meeting of the months always took place in the Great Hall of the Time
Mansion. The Great Hall was a place out of time and was thereby deemed neutral
ground by all the months. No one could claim favoritism or privilege in the
Hall and they all took turns chairing the meetings. Out of the Hall, each of
the months had their own set of rooms in the mansion and their own personal
staff, which at the beginning of time had presented a problem when unsuspecting
visitors had dropped by. They had been met at the door by any variety of
beings. There were elves, flying babies, leprechauns, water nymphs, talking
jack o lanterns, flower people, stars, elementals, Ents, scarecrows, cats and
more. How would you feel if the north wind came to the door when you knocked?
So, at one of the annual meetings it was decided that a master butler needed to
be hired, just for the odd unexpected visitor. After all, one didn't want to
scare the people too badly, that was October's job.
The hiring process was mercifully short. Thousands answered the ad but only
one stalwart gentleman actually stayed for the interview process. The rest fled
at varying points, either at the front door or in the corridors on the way to
the interview room; but not Manfred Lillywhite. Manfred was made of sterner
stuff and supposed that if his new place of employment had a few oddities, who
was he to complain. He had grown up in a rather uneventful life and felt that a
few quirks here and there would be a welcome change. Happily there was no
shortage of eventful occurrences for Manfred to handle.
There was the time that April decided her pet bunny needed to befriend one
of October's bats and soon the mansion was overrun with flying rabbits. Then
there was the great Christmas cookie debacle of 783 when one of the elves
turned the entire mansion into a gingerbread house. Thanks to February's sweet
tooth, whole sections of the mansion had to be redone or forever sport tooth
marks. Yes, the atmosphere was never dull in the Time Mansion. Why, one could
walk from room to room and experience vastly different weather patterns and
seasons. You could go alpine skiing on the grand staircase or visit the spooky
caverns that made up the basement. Some of the bathrooms resembled tropical
gardens complete with bathing pools and waterfalls, and the kitchens, yes;
kitchens plural stocked every sort of gastronomical confection imaginable. The
cutlery drawers alone looked like a cross between an arsenal and a medieval
torture chamber.
Which was what made it so much fun to be the host of the annual meeting.
October loved to show off the fruits of his month’s bounty and the tables
almost bent under their combined weight. There was pumpkin panettone for
December who liked fruitcake, and pumpkin soups and breads for November. There
were cupcakes, candies, cider, tortes, tarts and ales. Fruit pies, meat pies, sweet
pies and sour pies. There was so much food in fact, that scarecrow waiters
stood by the Hall doors next to wheelbarrows ready to wheel the months out
after the meeting. Truth be told, some method of conveyance was always standing
by to wheel the occupants out after a meeting. Overindulgence was the goal not
the exception. When December was in charge it was a sled pulled by gingerbread
men, when it was August's turn giant floating sunflowers harnessed to bees
carried them all away.
Sensing that things needed to get going, October indicated to Manfred to
sound the gong and slowly all the months made their way to the great table.
Once seated and properly situated, October opened the big book and called the
meeting to order. He banged his pumpkin gavel and asked the secretary (who
happened to be September this time) to read the minutes of the last gathering.
Once that was done they proceeded to new business. February raised her hand and
asked that her official color be changed from pink and red to lavender because
it was a much more soothing tone. May took issue with the change and her
sisters rallied around her. Not surprisingly the vote ceased to gain ground,
but in order to placate her, June did offer to give up her 31st day so that
February could celebrate one more day of her month. Everyone agreed that this
was an elegant and gracious solution and the motion carried. It would be noted
however that in the human world such a change would only be reflected once
every four years in order to not cause too much of a commotion.
The next order of business was brought up by September who asked that
November make up his mind and finally set an official date as to when
Thanksgiving should be held. Traditionally it would occur whenever November
felt hungriest and sometimes that meant two or three times in a month. The
other months had heard the human population grumbling and decided to make
November finally choose. Round and round
they went. November lobbied for earlier in the month, but October wouldn’t'
have it. People were still in a candy coma from Halloween and didn't need
another party. December didn't care one way or another and November kept trying
to haggle for two more holidays. In the end they decided to hold the official
day halfway between the festivities and most everyone was happy.
The only other bit of business was to present Manfred with his annual bonus
and then choose the next month to host the meeting. March was unanimously
chosen mostly because he was passed out in his chair and couldn't pawn the job
off on anyone else. October rapped his pumpkin gavel to close the meeting and
everyone began to disperse. They climbed, fell, or were carried to their
respective wheelbarrows and taken to their rooms. When the last of them had
left, Manfred snapped his fingers and the room was once again put to rights.
The giant sandy hourglass was turned on its axis to count down the days until
the next meeting and the candles were blown out. The fire was banked, and with
a contented sigh Manfred closed the giant oak doors to the Great Hall. Yes,
working here was certainly never boring.
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