Day 19: They're Monstrously Delicious

I know that I write about Frankenberry cereal every year, but I love it so.

I like how despite the fact that it is puffed up wheat that contains dyes, sugar and marshmallows it is still “a part of a nutritious breakfast.” Yeah, if you add a banana and milk and don’t eat the cereal at all it might be. That part of the TV ads always cracked me up. I didn’t even buy that lie when I was a kid. I was a weird child; I didn’t like sugar cereal which was good cuz mom didn’t want to buy it. I liked “old person” cereal. I called it this because only my grandpa ever at it. I am a Grape Nuts fan, though I will admit to a strong desire to gulp large amounts of Cap n Crunch with crunch berries but that is where it ends. I don’t want sugar for breakfast, if I did I would eat a donut or go snack on some candy or just drink syrup straight from the bottle. But when October rolls around all my good nutritional sense goes out the window and I consume my sugary cereal with gleeful abandon. Sometimes it is even dinner.

As per usual, I did my yearly Google search about my favorite monster cereal and man the things that came up. I always find something good. This year there is a contest from General Mills to win carved busts of Frankenberry, Count Chocula and Boo Berry. Admittedly the busts are kinda bad (only Count Chocula looks good, Boo Berry looks like a slug and Frankenberry looks like a pig), but I still feel that I need them. I started an Instagram account just so I could enter. I will be deleting it after the contest ends. My dedication knows some bounds, just not many.

After doing that, I went down the old commercial rabbit hole on YouTube. I find the monster voices amusing. Frankenberry sounds like a British professor, Count Chocula sounds like Snidely Whiplash and Boo Berry sounds like an Igor even though he should sound like Frank Sinatra. I have no idea why I think that but I just do. I remember watching these ads when I was little. I always looked forward to them. I wish they still made them. It seems they do but I haven’t’ seen one on TV in years. I love that there is a continued rivalry between Count Chocula and Frankenberry. Boo Berry is kind of an afterthought. Maybe that’s why they always render him as looking kinda stoned. He’s probably sitting in a back room somewhere half snoozing with a raging case of the munchies. If monsters eat other monster cereals, does that make them cannibals?

In my searches I found a terror alert chart for the Halloween cereals a la homeland security. I also found a recipe for making Frankenberry rice crispy type treats. I will be making them today. I can hardly wait. Let the sugar rush BEGIN!

If you could make a fall cereal, what would it be, what would be in it, and what would you call it. I think I would have leaf shaped cereal in fall colors. It would taste like cinnamon. I have no idea what it would be called. All my ideas are dorky and after I thought of Leafy-O’s my brain short circuited. I know this though, if it ever became a viable cereal source it would be a sponsor of my October Thoughts, I might even print some on the back of the box for breakfast reading.

Oh my goodness, one more thing before I go, I found this funny article about what happened to the Yummy Mummy. It made me giggle like crazy. I think I am going to print it out and stick it with my monster cereals. Give it a read if you want a good laugh. That Yummy Mummy is nuts.

https://www.retrojunk.com/article/show/1123/yummy-mummy-we-hardly-knew-ye

Day 13: I Eat Monsters for Breakfast

If you haven't figured it out by now, I get a little obsessive when it comes to October. I turn into a raging GIMME monster who wants all the decorations, drinks, pumpkins, periodicals, and October wonderfulness for herself. Well, I am willing to share, but me first, me first! As I was mulling over what to write for day thirteen, the thought literally came to me in my dreams.

I dreamt about breakfast cereal. And not just any breakfast cereal, October breakfast cereal. Since I was a wee thing, I have not really liked sugary cereals. I was an old soul who much preferred the taste of shredded wheat and cereals with fiber. I didn't see the point of sugary breakfast foods. If I wanted sugar, I'd just go eat some. Though I did like the Rice Krispy cereal, mostly because it made noise, but I am getting off topic.

Anyway, it wasn't until I got much older that I discovered the joys of sugary October cereal. I don't know what made me buy my first box, it probably had something to do with the fact that there was an October theme to it and you know how powerless I am to resist those. The cereals didn't taste half bad, they had monsters on the front and they were for a limited time only. Thus was born my October breakfast cereal tradition.

Every October I would watch the TV for commercials and the aisles for a glimpse of my holiday cereal boxes. I am not ashamed to say that I often enlist the help of others in my search. I just can't properly celebrate the season if I don't have my Franken Berry. The mania has become such a thing that last year I was going to dress up as Franken Berry and had cajoled mom into being Boo Berry. But sadly, the house fire had other plans and the costumes were lost. But no big deal, I still have my Franken Berry doll and my October breakfast cereal pins.

This year I didn't even have to go in search of the sugary treats. My wonderful uncle found them first and sent them to me in a giant package well before October. I have been happily munching ever since. This year, I was tipped off that the General Mills company was going to rerelease all of the monster cereals, even the discontinued ones. My heart did a little flip of joy when I heard that. But alas, I have not seen the proof of that press release yet. I have found Count Chocula, Boo Berry and Franken Berry. But no Yummy Mummy or Frute Brute. They are supposed to have been released at Target in September, but when I ask about them, I get funny looks from the employees like I am speaking Farsi. Ah such is my hard life during October.

But what does this all have to do with my dreams? Well, last night I had a doozy. It involved Oprah (why I'll never know, I don't watch her show, I don't read her magazine), Costco, a minivan and a bunch of people I had never met. For some reason we were going to Costco and it seemed like it was an emergency. Once we got there we all split up to find whatever it was that we were searching for. I was hot on the trail of whatever it was until suddenly I turned a corner and there were the October monster cereals. The mission suddenly went out of my mind. I then became SUPER focused on how to smuggle several boxes of Halloween cereal out of the store. Yes, it seems I had turned into a cereal shoplifter.

So as I was trying to smuggle my ill gotten gains out of a huge side door, Oprah showed up and gave me a talking to. She called security on me (which didn't endear her to me very much) and then i had to run around Costco dropping cereal boxes as I ran trying to evade an irate Oprah and security. From there it was a frantic chase and I woke up to the sound of my alarm going off. I never did get my holiday cereal. So the day has been going downhill ever since I woke up this morning. That said, I did have a nice heaping bowl of Franken Berry just to show my dream and Oprah who was boss. Clearly me. Clearly

So, with 18 days left in my favorite month, I will not give up the monster cereal hunt. I will also call on all of you to keep your eyes peeled. If you happen to be around Target or some other store that has monster cereal, be sure to look for Frute Brute and Yummy Mummy. They will be hanging out next to Count Chocula, Boo Berry and Franken Berry. I will pay you in pumpkin cookies or cash money, whichever you prefer. But like my crazy dream illustrates, I've got to get me some October monster cereal. mmmmmm